I suddenly felt natasia's absence a lot last night.
Whenever i was feeling :( or when i felt #$@$@%@,
i would throw rocks at her window to wake her up
and then she would always accompany me to go walk around the park.
& then we would sit down on a bench and i would tell her everything,
but when i finished, i would see her sleeping,
and that itself would make me smile.

Last night i was going to throw rocks at nat's window
when i remembered that she was in paris.

& then i realised everybody was gone.
Mal, Ariel, Jeremy has left us,
Natalie is in switzerland,
Natasia is in Paris.

So i went to the park to sit on the swings,
because everytime i swing higher,
it clears my mind.

Then at about 2,
a guy came, he lives in our neighbourhood, william.
Then i had a good talk with him and we swung up high on swings.

Then we walked back and i went home to lie down and then...
i was attacked by cockroaches. In my room.
Fuck.
At 3 am :(

So anyway, i've realised a lot of things tonight,
and i know what i must do now.
heh :)