We'll stay forever this way;
cause you're safe in my heart.

Everything felt so different today.
Everything.

We went to coffeebean and cartel and all
then i started missing inez & clement very badly.
It probably wasn't as much as i missed chloe last time,
but it was still significant.

Bleh; im so worried about tomorrow.
So so so worried.

Luckily nick & josh gonna meet me first then we're
gonna go seletar country club and rot for a while.

Okay.
To all my goodfriends/bestie jill & jan,
you all know who i like right ?
AND OMG DONT SAY IT ON MY TAGBOARD
( cause she still doesn't know )

Then today when i was walking home from the main road
i decided to just play my ipod on random mode.
& then on my first time i pressed play,
Butterfly by Mariah Carey started playing.

Then i skipped to the next song,
Ti Amero by Il Divo.

Then i offed my ipod and restarted it
then i pressed play screen again.
Then Butterfly played again.

I did it for 5 times
and all 5 times butterfly played.
(despite my ipod being restarted and allowing the second song to
play in hopes of "re-shuffling" it)

I have 429 songs in my ipod
and, in all due respect,
apple's products cannot be that accurate
to actually pick the same random song 5 times in a row.

Imagine the odds.
( 1/429 ) x ( 1/429 ) x ( 1/429 ) x (1/429 ) x (1/429 )
= ( 1/14530697473149 )

Which is a little more then 1 out of 14.5 trillion chance.

So i was trying to decide what was so special about that
song that defied all possible odds.
(considering that apple couldn't be that accurate )
(in all due respect)

Then i realised the lyrics spoke everything i should be feeling now.
Everything.

About _____?
I realised after liking her all these while since dec,
i should do exactly as what the song said.

I like this song.
------------------------------------
Butterly, by the great Mariah Carey.

When you love someone so deeply,
They become your life.
It's easy to succumb to overwhelming fears inside.
Blindly I imaged I could,
Keep you under glass;
Now I understand to hold you,
I must open up my hands
& watch you rise.

[Chorus:]
Spread your wings and prepare to fly,
For you have become a butterfly;
Fly abandonedly into the sun.
If you should return to me,
We truly were meant to be.
So spread your wings and fly;
Butterfly.

I have learned that beauty,
Has to flourish in the light.
Wild horses run unbridled,
Or their spirit dies.
You have given me the courage,
To be all that I can
& i truly feel your heart will
Lead you back to me when you're
Ready to land.

[Chorus]

I can't pretend these tears,
Aren't overflowing steadily.
I can't prevent this hurt from,
Almost overtaking me.
But I will stand and say goodbye;
For you'll never be mine,
Until you know the way it feels to fly.

[Chorus]

So flutter through the sky;
Butterfly.
Spread your wings and fly;
Butterfly.

-------------------------------------

& nick; i wanna thank you for the times you've supported me
since i begun the natalie thing last time to the _____ thing noww. :D
SEE YOU TOMORROW :D
& inez; i wanna thank you for all the countless times
you've talked to me online about this thing :D

& jan; i wanna thank you for giving me REALISTIC advice and
NONSENSICAL advice since i told you in dec. thanks bestie!
& jill; you were supposed to help me today. but no need already!
thank you bestie! (help me find out about the 2000 bucks thing still k! )

& jeremy; the number of times we took cab home
made us super close so thank you for your advice! :D
& vanessa; you suck! okay nvm, haha thanks anyway especially for last sunday! :D
take care of my gucci and raoul bags!
& clement; what would i do without you man ? be happier :P haha no lah, thanks bro!
you're still my most idiotic but yet most loved cousin.

& sarah; i finally prayed! :D thank you a lot fatty! so i decided to store her in my heart
and continue with whatever we are now :D
& sean; i know you expected me to tell her but oh well brother;
im sorry if i let you down or anything. :D i still heart you brotherrr!

& jared; thanks for your "aiya be a man and just tell her. if not just go bowling with me lah."
cause it always made me laugh :D:D:D:D:D

& natasia; thanks for your "look me in the eyes and tell me what you see in her?" :D
and then your, "probably less then what you would see in my sister okay!!!" haha
& natalie; we're thousand of miles apart but you take care okay!
& i know you miss me too. and thanks for telling me to "just gooooo lah ah boy."

& to nicole; i know i let you down many times, im grateful when you told me
to just treat her the same, if not better, then how i treated you :D thank you.

If i let anyone down,
I really apologise.

I sound like i am going to die.
( actually i am cause my oritentation starts tomorrow )


So i decided to store _____ in my heart forever.
Literally; forever.

i'm forever yours;
faithfully.