The truth;

& yes, i will learn to love again.

From : bevvy <(i removed it bev)@hotmail.com>
Sent : Sunday, December 31, 2006 3:19 PM
To : sia_rawks@hotmail.com
Subject : This is the truth.

Hello Isaac,
this is a reply to the question you asked me!

You want to know the truth?

I think you're a mess.
You are living a messed up life.

I knew you since 12.
We met at tution, the stupid chinese woman one.
Remember ?
Well, i do.

Right now, i think you've done a 180 degrees turn in your life.


You might be the richest person i talked to,
the richest person i have in my phone,
the richest person who ever messaged me.

But are you happy?

You might have immense amount of wealth that your family
tried ways and means to hide & deny.
Attained legally & illegally.

But are you happy?


You spoke religiously the last time we met,
2 years ago.
Now you speak without thinking & just utter nonsense.

But are you happy?

You live in a freaking big house,
but yet lie to others and say you live in a small shit hole.
Why lie, why.

But are you happy?

You liked so many others in your life before,
but only ending up with a certain two,
Audrey. Nicole.

But are you happy?

You used to treat friends with respect and had a lot of fun together with them,
have you forgotten?
Oh damn it, i haven't.

& are you happy?

Everything changed right Isaac?
Everything did.

You tell lies easily.
You spin stories in a twinkling of an eye.
You immense yourself in great egoistical behaviour.
You live in self-illusion;
a self illusion of a world that has only 3 things-
Materialistic things, Prestige, Power.

Are these that important to you?

Why isn't there love in it ?
Why isn't there trust in it ?
Why isn't there God in it ?

Are these not important at all?

You changed so much, i wouldn't be surprised
if one day, you become so obsessed with the 3 things
that you turn hubristical.

You'll deitize yourself.

& when that day comes, you'll lose your soul.
Im positively sure.

You know why i purposely wanted to talk to you?
Because i realised that you're gonna be 17 next year
& you're gonna face new friends, new people, new prospects.

Change Isaac, damnit.

When you loved Audrey, you would choose money over her.
When you loved Nicole, you would still choose money over her.

I beg to you, as one of your very good friends, sincerely &
honestly plead with you, don't do that to the girl you like now,
alright?

She's Vivien right?
I told you to never doubt my ways and means of finding out things.

But now listen.

Audrey was born in 1990.
So was nicole.

But vivien is 2 years younger than them,
than you.

she's still a kid.

Please, if you really decide to love her,
please, prioritize your life properly okay.

Love.

You neeed to mean it truly.
Truly from the heart.

Only when you finally can put her first over money,
then you tell her you love her.
Understand ?

Don't hurt her like how you hurt Audrey & Nicole.
Don't okay.

Her brother is like your good friend right?

All the more, don't.

& the last plea i have to you is,
turn back to God.
Please.

You've spent the last year running from him.

Aren't you out of breathe now?

Enough Isaac.
Enough.

Whats the use of being able to have anything you neeed,
but yet nothing you want,
when you lose your soul.


Stop Isaac.
Stop.

Tomorrow's a new year.

Tomorrow's 2007.

Fix your life.
Materialistic things will die when your earthly body dies.
So will prestige & power.

Love stays.
Trust stays.
God stays.

They stay.

So you need to change your life okay?

I don't want to lose you Isaac.
You're one of my very very good friends.

I don't want to lose you.

& neither do your close friends in school, church and all.

Start your life- anew.

This is the truth Isaac.
You're about to lose your soul.
You're about to lose the basic fundamentals of life.

Think it over & call me okay.
Happy New Year.

Beverly.


This reduced me to tears.

Just this email.

& i realised that im living quite a pretence life.
& the realisation kinda sucks.

Church was good thou;
I made a new covenant with God.

& i like this song
THE SUMMONS.

& there was this verse from the song,
How deep the father's love for us!
Which really like touched me.

I will not boast in anything.
No gifts, no power, no wisdom.
But i will boast in Jesus Christ.
His death & resurrection.
Why should i gain from his reward?
I cannot give an answer.
But this i know with all my heart,
His wounds have paid my ransom.

& i will learn to love,
just like how i am going to learn to live a proper life again.